Factor 500
by Rikki Rray
Summary: Obito and Kakashi go for a drive, and Obito nds up sunburnt. Elements of shonen-ai in it.


The speed limits I'll be using in this will be those in use in the UK. 30/mph in a built up area, 60/mph on a dual carriageway, and 70/mph on a motorway are those recognized by the law and in The Highway Code. The most thrilling read I've ever had. Not. I don't condone speeding, I'm a bus driver, I rarely go above 30/mph, or 45 in a 60 zone. People hate being behind me!

"This is not a good idea, Kakashi," Obito warned as got into the werewolf's car, knowing that one way or another, the silver haired werewolf would find a way to fuck it up.

"Look, just live a little would ya," the werewolf in question said.

"Kinda hard to do that when I've been dead for 15 years," Obito said under his breath, knowing that Kakashi would hear him.

"Ha ha, you're a regular riot," Kakashi said sourly as he put the car in gear and shot out of his drive, steadfastly ignoring the speed limit as he shot off towards the city limits, where he could really open the engine up.

They hit the motorway at nearly a ton, when Kakashi shot past a motorway patrol car sitting on the hard shoulder.

"You fucking idiot!" Obito shouted at Kakashi as the police peeled off the hard shoulder, lights and sirens on, hard on their tail.

"Just trust me," Kakashi said, as he shot off the slip road and hit the desert, hard.

The police spent all night looking for the wayward pair, even going as far as to get in a K9 unit. Who as soon as they scented Kakashi, nearly shat themselves in fear.

Said pair were holed up in a cave further in the desert, and Obito was shaking with fury at Kakashi. "What the fuck did you think you was doing?" he hissed at him. "Now we're stuck here for the rest of the day!"

"No we're not -" he started to say, when he was interrupted.

"And how am I supposed to move out in the sun?" Obito started to ask. "Nivea Factor 500? I'm a fucking vampire, you prick!" he shouted, "you know, the Undead, allergic to sunlight. That type of vampire. For fuck's sake!" And then he walked over to the entrance to the cave, and put his hand out in the dawn sunlight for all of about 5 seconds. When he retracted it, it looked like he'd got a scalding from a kettle. "I don't think a sunscreen is gonna help me," he said, laying the sarcasm on thick.

Kakashi winced, realizing that he'd made a bit of a miscalculation. "Sorry?"

"Sorry, sorry he says," Obito sneered as he held his sunburnt hand out to Kakashi. "If the police drag me out of here into the sun, I'm so gonna be pissed at you!"

By the time the sun had set, Obito's hand had healed and he'd got over most of his bad mood at Kakashi, and they were walking back towards the city.

They'd already made a phone call to Kyuubi, and he was sending Naruto to pick them both up from the nearest motorway services. But there was still a walk of 7 miles to go.

By the time they got there, they were both covered in dust, and were less than happy. And both were rather hungry. Kakashi was refusing to be a blood donor until he'd eaten, and they were starting to nitpick at each other. It wasn't made any easier when they walked into the car-park and saw Naruto and Sasuke making out in the car.

"I so don't need any of this," Obito said as he slapped the roof of the car whilst Kakashi walked off to buy half of Burger King.

"Took your fucking time," Naruto said, as he tried to adjust his trousers, and Sasuke tried to adjust his breathing in addition to his trousers.

"Yeah, well, it's his fault," Obito said sourly. "And I'm fucking hungry, and he wouldn't let me feed. And now he's off buying half of Burger King! And I got fucking sunburnt!"

"Just think of it like this, uncle," sniggered Sasuke, "and least you'll get to eat soon. What the fuck has he got there?"

"Half of Burger King," sniggered Naruto as he got out of the car and allowed Kakashi and Obito to get in. "You know we get teasing rights on this, and you've got to tell us the whole story. And how the fuck did you get sunburnt?"

"Because this fucker drives like a twat," Obito said as Naruto got back in the car and Kakashi had a burger stuffed in his mouth, "and he forgets that Factor 500 doesn't yet exist in sunscreen!"

Sasuke burst out laughing as Naruto peeled out of the car-park, and Obito shouted, "not again, not another fucking police chase, you twat!"


End file.
